4 years ago tomorrow

In addition to tomorrow being the National Day of Becky's Birthday, it is also the anniversary of my Grandad's death. I was thinking about that this morning as I drove into work, sad for a variety of reasons - this anniversary being just one of them. I remember my Grandad (Robert Schrum to other people) as a wonderful, kind man. These are memories I have of him - some are of he and my Grandma Emily - she passed away 14 years ago, but her birthday would have been next week.

- always left the back door of their house unlocked, and when we walked in, Grandma would ALWAYS say : "Robert, I knew we should have locked that door."

- always had a cup of gum in her upper cupboard - usually big red

- Grandad always carried hard candy in the glove compartment of his Oldsmobile. and it was ALWAYS an Oldsmobile.

- hated driving at night, and hated driving on the interstate. could get around just fine on the back roads, even from youngstown, Ohio to Cleveland, Ohio

- Grandad always called me Becky-boo (to this day, my favorite nickname that anyone can utter)

- After I left home for college, but would be home on breaks, when Grandad called the house & I happened to answer the phone - would ask - "Well, Becky-Boo - what are you doing there?"

-would go through the litany of sons-in-law when he talked to any of them on the phone. "Dave, Ron, Mark"

-always referred to his great-granddaughter, Katie - as "shelley's little girl" even though we hadn't called my sister Shelley since she was 14 and Katie was by that point 10 or 11.

-wore grey so regularly that it's now a family phrase "Bob Schrum Grey"

-loved his kids passionately, even though he didn't always know how to say it - he'd do anything for them and they knew it without a doubt.

Here's to you, Grandad. We still love you.

Edited on 3/16: More memories that have come since this first posted:
- I wear my grandmother's birthstone ring on my right ring finger. i wear it every day to remind me of the strength I inherited from the women in my mother's family - the schrums, the boyers and all of the names that have come since and before. These are strong women who have endured trials and trials - and endured them with grace and strength to pass on to me & my sisters and my cousins and our children's children.

I wear Emily Boyer Schrum's ring with pride and joy, and I think of her very much on days like this. Some of her children have been through very trying circumstances since she left us, but they have done her proud in the way they have managed their lives. Here's to you - mom & Aunt Barb... for standing up for yourselves with the strength you inherited and embody daily.

Even many years after grandma died, every conversation with grandad would involve something like this: " I sure do miss your grandma/mom." "We know, grandad/dad. we miss her, too." So here's to you, Robert & Emily. Thanks for the legacy and the love.