Every once in a while

Every once in a while, I forget.

I laugh at a show, or I read a good book.

I enjoy a warm ray of sunshine on my face.

And then I see a child. Any child - just walking by me at work. And I think - Andrew's about that age. And, then, for no apparent reason relating to that child or that moment, i start to cry and have to MAKE myself stop.

For Andrew is sick. He has Muscular Dystrophy.

So does his brother, Reece.

I never thought I was capable of loving children who aren't related to me as much as I love my katie, lauren, julia, andrew & baby Geisler.

but then i met these little boys who call me "miss Becky" and tackle me with all of their weight. And i have to remember that they won't break if I tumble backwards, taking them with me in sheer delight to both of us.

And I forget that they're sick, for just a little while. I play trucks and color and we play hide and seek.

And then I see Andrew struggle to get up the stairs. And I remember that his symptoms are obvious every day, and will only get worse.

And i have to fight back the tears, because I look at his parents and I marvel that they can FUNCTION without a constant stream of tears coming from their eyes, and if they can do it, I sure as hell can.

we're having a fundraiser/birthday party for the boys & max (respectively) this weekend. I'm really hopeful that both aspects turn out well.

because I want those boys to have 40th birthday parties as well.

That will be the biggest damn party of my life, if it happens.

i want to hope that it will happen, but since i'm running short on hope these days, i will WORK to see it happen, and hopefully the hope will follow.